Being Lied To At Work
What do you do when a co-worker or employee lies to you? At first you are usually a bit taken back in disbelief that they have actually lied and you ask yourself “did I just hear what I thought I heard?”
Once you have gotten over the initial shock that you have been lied to( if you can) you need to make sure that you do not over-react. Immediately ask them to repeat what they said so you can make sure you have heard correctly, and if you did, do not say anything until you have had time to really think the situation through (unless someone is in danger, you can take a little time to think things through).
It is sad to say but “white lies” have become a common part of what takes place in society today, but this does not mean that you need to just let them slide, especially when ethics and integrity play a large part in your business environment.
If you are correct in what you heard and it was a lie, then you need to think about what may have caused this person to react by not telling the truth, put yourself, if you can, in their position and ponder why would you say what they said. By taking this time you also will clam down and be able to think clearer and that will allow you to speak clearer when you confront the person.
It will help if you can tell the person whom you need to confront that you need to talk to them about what they said about “———–.” This will let the person know you want to talk to them about what they said and give them time to prepare. When the actual confrontation takes place make sure that you are not in “attack mode” remember you are trying to find out why they lied, work through it, and move forward, so keep your cool (your blood pressure will thank you).
When you meet tell them what they said, why you believe this is not true, and ask them to help you understand why it happened. Many times the person being confronted, knowing what they were going to be confronted with, will already be ready to apologize or explain why they did it. This is great, it is done deal, slap on the hand and move along (especially if this is a first offense and it is something minor).
If this is not the case then they may add lies on top of the lie and make matters worse or just stick to the one lie and not budge. No matter which of the last two you encounter, you need to address it with whatever office polices are in place regarding “speaking the truth”, ethics and integrity in the office.
Make your encounter a teachable experience for all parties, but also let them know that dishonesty is not acceptable and will be dealt with because a team cannot work to the highest standards if each of its members does not play by the highest standards.
No supervisor wants to deal with these types of issues, but if you do not you will be dealing with much larger ones. Put out the little fires before they burn down the forest.
How do you deal with lies in the workplace?
Oh what if it is the manager who lies? (another post altogether)
Tina Del Buono, PMAC on
Oct 1st, 2014 8:00 am
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